As
I sit and stare at the prompt, an image comes to mind. I see my father screaming at my mother. I see my mother grabbing a bag that appears
to be a suitcase and heading for the door.
She kisses my cheek and then proceeds to do the same for my brother. As she reaches for the door handle and shuts
the door behind her, my father watches with tears in his eyes.
I
am sure many have had different experiences which shapped their lives, but for
me that experience was my parent’s divorce.
Though I was only six years old at the time, seeing the pain which both
of my parents experienced was enough to scar me for life. The older I got, the more I began to
understand the circumstances of their divorce and the true occurances. This experience not only shaped the way I
view life, but the way I perceive love and marriage as well.
When
the divorce first occurred, I was confused and scared. My mother moved in with my soon to be step
father, and I was thrown into a situation that I did not understand. Furthermore my parents shared custody of my
brother and I, thus we now had two addresses.
I was forced to accept this man into my life as well as his three
kids. At the beginning I was accepting,
but soon I learned the truth and things changed. I began to resent him and everything that
belonged to him, including his children.
I also resented not being able to sleep in the same bed for longer than
three days, for I was having to move from house to house in the middle of the
week. All of this made me long for
stability, not only physical stability but emotional as well. The older I got the more this longing and
resentment increased, until one day everything changed. After 11 years of living in what appeared to
be a nightmare, I finally woke up and began to accept the life before me. I saw my step father for the kind and
intelligent man he truly is, rather than the evil being who broke up my
family.
Because my life is in constant change, I have become more
accepting towards change than most people who did not experince divorce. It does appear that because of this
experience I have become more prone to it as well. Moreoever, the longing for physical stability
is still there. I know that for the rest
my life I will be searching for it and will need it in order to truly be
happy. Also, I can conclude that because
of this experience I can truly appreciate new occurances in life.
It did have a negative impact on the way I perceive love and
marriage. After seeing the pain in my
father’s eyes every time I mention it, reminds me of how careful i have to be
with my heart. I, as well as thousands
of other girls, grew up with the idea that prince charming will one day come
and sweep me off my feet. After the
divorce, that mentality seemed to have died, and instead was replaced with one
of fear. Though I am very sensitive, I
do not show my feelings too easily. I
hold things inside and am reluctant to place my trust in people, especially
with the people I love. It is not that I
have given up on love completely, but the divorce showed me that no matter how
much you love someone, they can easily fall out of love with you. Subconsciously I have placed a shield around
my heart and am very reluctant to let people in.
After living with this for thirteen years, one begins to
accept it. I love everyone in my step
family as well as my immediate family, but going through a divorce is not
easy. Through this experience I have
learned things that i never would have learned if my parent’s would have stayed
together. Not only am I happier, but
parents are as well. I think we all
learned that the “road to success is paved with failures”.
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