Beowulf VS The Tick

   "Who would win in a fight"...A timeless question. It's been asked a million different times and in a million different places, from classrooms to barrooms to bathrooms, its the universal question of ultimate boredom and time wasting comtemplation. But at the same time its an encouragement for the mind to dive into the absurd and to seriously consider something for fun. And thats why we ask, "Who would win in a fight, Beowulf or The Tick?"

   Now that'd be a good fight. Lets start with the comparisons. Both Beowulf and Tick are pretty big guys. They might even be the strongest of their times. "...Beowulf, Higlac's follower and the strongest of the Geats- greater and stronger than anyone anywhere in this world" (ll. 109-111). So neither of them are whimps. Theyre tough too. Theyve had plenty of battles to prove it. "...from the darkness of war, dripping with my enemies blood. I drove five great giants into chains, chased all of that race from the earth" (ll.247-250). Beowulf is a tough guy. Beowulf and Tick like to talk about themselves a lot. Though they do it at different times, both brag often. "I swam in the blackness of night, hunting monsters out of the ocean, and killing them one by one" (ll. 250-253). Beowulf likes to brag about his accomplishments.

   But Beowulf and Tick are also very different. For starters, Beowulf wore lots of armor and expensive stuff, but Tick only wears a big blue Speedo-type-thing. When Beowulf went to meet Hrothgar, he wore his expensive armor. "Glittering at the top of their golden helmets" (ll. 214-215). Beowulf liked to show of his wealth be wearing expensive armor. Beowulf was more courageous than Tick. Beowulf does the types of things that Tick would be too afraid to do. "...Beowulf, a prince of Geats, had killed Grendel" (ll. 403-404). The Tick couldnt kill anyone.

   Overall, both Beowulf and The Tick were heros, and good ones. But they're each a different type of hero. Beowulf is the "Lets get down to buisiness and bust some evil skull" type hero, where Tick is more of a "Hero by accident". Though they are from totally different times and places, there are still two essential elements that every hero must posess: Courage and A cause or reason to be a hero. With these two things anyone can be a hero. And as for "Who would win in a fight", after all things considered, it all comes down to a matter of opinion: A big Conan-like action hero or a more realistic guy in a blue speedo. Tough call...