Anger Management
and Conflict
Dr. Daube,
Instructor
November 6, 1996
Everybody feels anger from time to time.
People have been documented feeling anger since biblical times when God was
considered angry. Babies even exhibit
signs that are interpreted as anger, such as crying or screaming. Anger is not in any way unique to
people. Animals also have the ability to feel and express anger.
In our personal lives we get angry over at
least one thing on almost a daily basis, whether it be on the job, with a
spouse or loved one, or perhaps with a figure of authority. Many psychologists have written about anger,
discussing the relationship between anger and fear. Each of the individuals that comprise
humanity possesses at least one phobia, in the same way that each is capable of
possessing anger. The negativity that is
associated with phobias often spills over into our feelings about anger. We begin to think negatively about anger
since we associate it with fear.
Plato was the first to suggest that anger
was a disbalance. According to Dr.
Willard Gaylin, a prominent psychologist, anger is still seen as a disbalance
by many of today's psychologists. Since
Plato, anger has suffered a bad reputation.
We only have to imagine a domestic abuse scene to immediately condemn
anger in all of its manifestations.
There is a reason why anger is viewed in a
negative light. Nobody likes it when
someone is angry with them. We tend to
avoid the wrath of those around us. This
is one reason we see anger as negative.
Another reason may lie closer to Plato's concept of imbalance. The negative perception of anger is evident
in the American Heritage Dictionary's definitions of the word anger (1):
1. A feeling of extreme displeasure, hostility,
indignation, or someone or something; rage; wrath; ire.
2. (Obsolete) Trouble; pain; affliction.
To say, "I'm
getting angry", is to invoke fear in another, usually, that fear
originates from a perception that the utterer of the phrase is about to take
some sort of dramatic action. Dr. Gaylin
speaks for these emotions, rage is a response to a perceived assault that
effects the body in interesting ways.
Skeletal muscles are tensed; the autonomic system moves to increase the
supply of adrenaline and redistribute the blood flow of the body; certain
muscles are contracted and opposing ones relaxed. (2)
Apparently, anger is viewed negatively for
a reason that is closer to Plato's concept of imbalance. It is also closer to
the American Heritage's definition of being sick. The authors of When Anger Hurts: Anger in Modern Life explain the
complications that chronic anger can create.
Doctors have long suspected that anger increases the blood rate. Many scientists now point out that
norepinepherine, the drug that is secreted during anger, increases blood
pressure as well. Anger and abnormally
high blood pressure are correlated; and high blood pressure leads to many forms
of heart disease. In a recent study
1,623 patients were interviewed an average of four days after they had suffered
a heart attack following an outburst of anger.
The study showed that the risk of suffering a heart attack is doubled
after an outburst of anger. (3) The
psychologist Franz Alexander's hypothesized in 1839 that hypertesnisves lack
basic assertive skills. Psychological
studies have repeatedly backed Alexander's assertion theory ever since.
(4)
High blood pressure is said to be caused
by uncontrolled anger, which in turn is caused by a lack of assertion. If we bottle up our anger now, then we will
feel it later. Eventually our arteries
will grow weak and we will remain tense, living daily with treacherous moods
and health. The alternative is to shout
out our anger at the world and let it manifest itself any way that it
pleases. Of course, taking our anger out
at the world can have even more deleterious effects. People just don't like it when we demonstrate
our anger. Many of us are taught at an
early age to bury our anger inside, where it causes stress, both emotionally
and physically. For example, in grade
school, children have to stay after class or are sent to the principle when
they express feelings of anger. Poorly
managed anger is the cause of many serious physical, social and emotional
problems, form heart disease to neighborhood violence. The Institute for Mental Health Initiatives
(IMHI) believes that by teaching people the skills to manage their anger
constructively, they will become empowered with the ability to understand their
own and other's feelings and resolve conflict in a non-violent manner. The IMHI believes the best way to achieve
this goal is to train teachers, counselors, social workers, health
professional, community leaders and others in constructive anger management
skills so that they can help others by conducting workshops in their own
settings. (3)
Anger is not physically healthy. Bottled up, it can lead to drug-induced
escapism or to ignorance of our surroundings.
Venting anger carelessly can also be dangerous. It is no wonder that anger has been viewed as
negative. Since we live in a stressful
society, we have no choice but to find ways of venting anger positively. East Asian religion has given the West
meditation, which is known to slow the heartbeat and calm the nerves. Other Eastern techniques of reducing stress
include acupuncture, and the Japanese bathhouse. In the United States we have psychology,
also, a number of exercises have been developed to control and eventually
reduce stress and anger. One basic
technique is called deep breathing: Lie
down on your back, placing one hand on your chest and another on your abdomen. Take deep breaths, inhaling slowly through
the nose. Feel the abdomen raise and
scan the body for tension. Let the
tension go as you encounter it. After
five to ten minutes the body is less tense.
It is suggested that this exercise be done once or twice a day for two
to three weeks to get useful results. (4)
Redford Williams, a professor of
psychiatry at Duke University Medical Center and co-author of Anger Kills, has
spent more than 20 years studying the impact of the mind and emotions on
health. Dr. Williams believes that when
normal people are faced with everyday anger, annoyance, irritation, and
frustration-
and their
immediate impulse is to commonly blame somebody or something, sparking fury
toward the offender manifesting itself in aggressive action, then getting angry
is like taking a small dose of slow-acting poison. According to a study of more than 1,000
people at a Western Electric Factory in Chicago, over a 25 year period, those
with high hostility scores were at high risk of dying from coronary disease as
well as cancer. There is evidence that
the immune system may be weaker in hostile people, according to Dr.
Williams. Long-term anger with no forgiveness
is deadly. Long term anger can lead to
carrying a grudge, which in turn hurts the person harboring the grudge more
than the person or object whom the grudge is directed. Hostility can also lead to heart disease and
other life-threatening illnesses. (3)
Of course, if a particular issue is a
thorn in one's side, it may be best to lash out at the threat. Wisdom is knowing when to lash out. Meditation and its cousin, deep breathing are
two methods of contemplation, which Albert Bernstein, the author of Dinosaur
Brains, calls using the cortex. If we
are aware of the oncoming anger, we can vent it positively with these
tools. If we are unconscious that we are
angry, then there is no way of controlling our externalization of the
anger. Albert Bernstein also describes
how our brains are constructed quite a bit like those of dinosaurs. We conceptualize more abstract threats such
as a coworker moving in on our territory. (5)
This sort of anger seems frivolous, but exists because we view reality
the way we want. We perceive what is not
truly harmful as threatening.
Unfortunately, we are too often
unconscious of our own anger. Dr.
Hendrie Weisinger, in his book Anger at Work, explains that people often have
powerful emotional reactions to others, yet are at a loss to explain just why
they respond as they did. Plenty of
thinking goes on low frequency... an almost subconscious level. (6) Regardless of how we may try to be rational,
we detect subtle indicators of our peers' moods. We often react to people based on these
subtle indicators that we receive of them.
If we ignore the fact that much of our emotion originates from this
unconsciousness, then we cannot control it via our more rational cortex. Relaxation techniques allow our brain to
process emotions, so that we can deal with them consciously. Dr. Weisinger also recommends that people
outthink anger by watching our for it.
Otherwise, we will blow up anger in our own mind, magnifying the
significance of negative events. This
can lead to misdirected anger. For many
individuals, anger is a particularly strong influence, and it is difficult to
control it even when it is conscious anger.
If any form of relaxation doesn't work, they should try removing
themselves from the stressful situation before they get an adrenaline rush or
their heart beat rises.
As previously stated, anger is mostly seen
as an affliction rather than a remedy.
But, is anger positive?: The
answer to the question is a conditional yes.
Indeed, anger is positive when it is used to assert oneself. When one is being threatened by an adversary,
anger can actually be useful. Our
bodies are designed to make us feel bigger than life at the sign of threat or
provocation. The area of the brain called
the amygdala mediates anger experiences, judging events as either aversive or
rewarding. A threat code triggers a
two-stage fight/flight mobilization in the body. Things that affect our bodily state can make
us more emotionally reactive. When Anger
Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within
documents a situation in which anger can be positive, the authors describe a
beneficial use of anger (4): "Iris,
a middle-aged woman living in New York, heard footsteps following her as she
was returning home alone. She was
frightened but then she became angry at the thought of being victimized. She slowed down; when the footsteps came
nearer, she whirled around and shouted at the top of her voice, 'Get away from
me you son-of-a-bitch or I'll kill you!'
The would-be attacker fled."
In this case, anger helped in the instance of physical attack. Anger can also be beneficial when one's
boundaries are violated. (2) If someone
is pushing you to the limit, there must come a point in which you can assert
yourself. Without such assertion, others
will begin to make excessive demands on you.
People that follow that pattern and constantly give into others' demands
are told that they need to be more
assertive. Anger fosters this self
assertion and it helps us display that assertion.
So it appears that we are faced with
choosing between two evils. On one hand,
we can lash out at the world, thereby hurting others, or we can bottle in our
anger, thereby hurting ourselves. Anger
in all of its manifestations appears to be negative, with few exceptions, such
as the woman that hinders an attack by using anger to scare off the attacker.
Anger does deserve all of its bad
reputation. Anger can be very
destructive, it can lead to liver, heart and artery damage. The key to living with anger is being
conscious of the anger that is within us.
Without such knowledge of ourselves, our anger will remain raw and
unfiltered. Wisdom lies in knowing when
to deny anger and when to vent it, when to direct it, and at what target. Leaving anger alone, leaving it to smolder so
to speak, is a dubious method of coping with anger. Aristotle said it best centuries ago,
"Anyone can become angry - that is easy.
But to be angry at the right person, to the right degree, at the right time,
for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not so easy." (4)
Chronic anger does lead to health
problems. Not everyone suffers from
anger, but for those that do, it means a multitude of emotional related
illnesses. Anger is often accompanied by
an imbalance of hormones, as Plato
recognized, and no imbalance is healthy in the long run. With consciousness and relaxation, people may
be able to achieve dominance over anger, rather than allowing it to have
dominance over them.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
1 American Heritage Dictionary
Houghton Mifflin
Company, Boston, MA 1985
2 Gaylin, Willard, M.D. The Anger Within: Anger in Modern Life.
Simon and
Schuster, New York, NY 1984
3 Internet Research: Coping with Anger, 1996
4 McKay, Rogers When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within.
New Harbinger,
Oakland, CA 1989
5 Bernstein and Rozen Dinosaur Brains: Dealing with all Those Impossible People at
Work.
John Wiley and
Sons, New York, NY 1989
6 Weisinger, Hendrie, M.D. Anger at Work: Learning the Art of Anger Management on the
Job.
William Morrow
and Comapny, New York, NY 1995
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