appliance essay

They did it, they bought that prissy, 3001x microchip of a phone! That makes me so angry!  I think my fancy, 3000x microchip might just burst!  I can see it now, my beautiful, orange, paint splattering; my long antenna popping; my good-looking, stretched, yet bendy body splitting in two… Sometimes it just stinks to be a (perfect) phone.

        You have to admit though; I’m everyone’s favorite conversing appliance.  Everybody loves how simple it is to charge me, just put me on my black hook, and then there goes a loud beep!  I’m already being charged, aren’t I speedy?  Communicating has never been so much fun!  See the unique, colorful owner’s manual for more information about the wonderful me!  Also in the manual, I have scribbled down my life ambitions, such as me beating the Tele-3001x!

        Yuck, there goes that disgusting Tele-3001x, the one I saw earlier!  I can’t believe someone would buy that horrifying machine; everyone knows that the Tele-3001x is my worst enemy!  This has spoiled my beautiful day, I think I will go and talk to my best friend, the always agreeable Tele-Zapper, or maybe the wonderful Caller-ID, of course, the Tele-2999x is still there, she’s always great!  Oh wait, hooray!  Someone has picked me up (how lovely!), and decided to use me to communicate instead of the Tele-3001x!  Go me!  Go me!  I’m so super, I’m so powerful!

        Too bad that someone was none other than, the horrible, awful, mean Rob!  All he ever does is chat with someone for two seconds, and then throw me down wherever he is!  H

e has no respect!  He’s definitely on my dislike list!  Shall I read you my dislike list?  Ok, I dislike being left off my black charger, I abhor short phone calls, I detest Tele-Marketers, and I especially hate, the Tele-3001x!  Sorry, that was building up for a while…Let’s talk about something enjoyable, how about my like list?  Well, I love gossip, I adore 3-way chats, I find irresistible long phone calls, and I am in love with an anonymous voice, (I always hear it whenever Stephanie’s on the phone; Stephanie’s the gossiping sister!).

        MWAHAHAHAHA! I must still be the best phone because they are wrapping the Tele-3001x back into its disgusting, green and red box!  As you can see, with my good looks, nice friends, and my organized lists (dislike list and like list), I have conquered the Tele-3001x!  I hope you have learned a lesson, that no matter what, the Tele-3001x will never conquer the perfect, me!