Defining the word love is almost
impossible. No other word in the English
language has so
many different connotations and uses.
There can be no one true single
definition. However, for the purpose of this paper, I
have come to the following
conclusion. Love is an intense emotion, characterized by
unwavering admiration and
caring between
two people who consider themselves to be perfect equals in the eyes of
God. To consider oneself a complete equal with
another, a deep understanding and
respect of the
other person must be developed.
There
should be no instances of immature
jealousy or
pointless wishes. Each person must
revere the other for who they are, and
expect nothing
more of them. Only when this point has
been reached, true love will be
present. As the story begins, Narcissus and Goldmund
already have a very special
relationship is
growing and changing as the novel goes on.
However, I believe that
neither of them
ever really experiences the bonds of unwavering love and equality until
the very end.
The relationship begins innocently enough. Goldmund is a young student, while
Narcissus is his
older mentor at the Mariabronn cloister.
Goldmund admires the learned
mind and
discerning wit of Narcissus, while Narcissus respects the "strong,
delicate
senses" that
Goldmund possesses. However, when
Narcissus confronts Goldmund with
his gifted
observations of him, it is a valid indication of the type of relationship that
has
so far grown
between them.
"I am superior to you only in one
point: I'm awake, whereas you are only
half
awake, or
completely asleep sometimes... Natures
of your kind are almost always
superior to us
creatures of the mind... You live fully;
you were endowed with the
strength of love,
the ability to feel."
Narcissus clearly
feels that there exists a separation between himself and Goldmund. In
his eyes, they
are not and can never be equal. He even
seems to imply that he himself is
unable to feel
love. Narcissus's words may have been
honest, but they were stated
without
forethought and they demonstrated a lack of caring for young Goldmund.
Narcissus has
basically told an idealistic boy that looks up to him, that they will never be
upon the same
level and can never be true friends.
These are the first two major
violations of my
definition of love that surface.
Narcissus's perceptions, which he
considers to be
"spoken better than usual", have caused Goldmund to flinch, as though
he'd been
"pierced by an arrow." Had
there existed true love between the pair, Narcissus
would have
carefully weighed his injurious words, or perhaps not spoken them at all.
Narcissus's thoughts, though carelessly spoken,
do have the desired effect on
Goldmund. Goldmund realizes that he does not belong in
the cloister, and he ventures
out into the
world. It goes without saying that many
of the relationships that Goldmund
has with women
from that point on, are devoid of any form of love entirely. He lusts for
these women, and
usually only desires sex. Even when he
stays with Lydia and Julie, he
is pervertedly
attracted to both of them, and is not deathly heartbroken when he is forced
to move on. Later in the novel, he has matured a bit and
has a somewhat extended
relationship with
Lene. However, when she is dying of the
plague, he does not stay at her
bedside because
of his powerful enduring love for her.
He remains there because he did
not want "to
leave the child there alone and dying."
He definitely cared for Lene, but he
lacked the
faithful affection for her. In fact, it
wasn't too long after her death that
Goldmund made
sexual advances toward Rebecca, and finally toward Agnes.
When Goldmund finally returns to Mariabronn, he
has greatly matured and
advanced in his
self discovery and understanding. He
knows now of his ability and
fondness for
creating sculptures. He knows that he
made the right decision in leaving the
life of the
cloister. Narcissus notices this in
Goldmund over time. Once returning,
Goldmund begins
to sculpt figures for the cloister. His
art is more powerful than ever, as
he captures the
spirit of the departed Abbot Daniel and Father Martin in his sculpted
evangelists. An important landmark is made in the relationship
between Narcissus and
Goldmund, is when
Goldmund allows Narcissus to view his artwork and comment upon
it. At that moment, Narcissus gains a complete
understanding and respect for Goldmund.
They are a step
closer to the emotional depth of true love.
In the final moments of the
scene, Narcissus
confesses his feelings.
"Now I know who you are. Let us speak about this no longer; I
cannot. Oh,
Goldmund, that
this hour has been given to us!"
Not long after, Goldmund once again becomes
uncomfortable with cloister life.
"He was no
longer free, no longer young." He
decided to leave the cloister again, to
wander one last
time. Narcissus's love for him becomes
apparent when the two say
goodbye.
"I must confess to you that I worried
about you on several occasions during the
last months. I saw that you were restless and disturbed,
and when you disappeared and
stayed away for
more than a day, I sometimes thought with sorrow: perhaps he's never
coming back. And now you have carved this wonderful
statue. I am happy for you and
proud of
you."
When Goldmund does ride off, Narcissus does not
take it lightly. He constantly
worries and prays
for his dearest friend. He feels that
his life has been enriched by
Goldmund, and
wonders if he could have "shown his friend more clearly how much he
loved
him."
Goldmund eventually returns, and dies with
Narcissus by his side. The
relationship has
ended, and can now be studied in its entirety.
At the start, the
relationship was
a simple friendship. Both of them had
much to learn about each other
and themselves
before they could ever love one another.
Narcissus originally felt that
Goldmund was
superior, while the contrary was true for Goldmund. It was not until
Goldmund returned,
that love was slowly grew between the two.
As I wrote above, I
believe love to
be an intense emotion, characterized by unwavering affection, admiration,
caring, and
understanding between two people who consider themselves to be perfect
equals in the
eyes of God. Narcissus cared enough for
Goldmund to remember the fate of
Goldmund's
boyhood horse, Bless, years later when he reunites with Goldmund.
Narcissus admires
Goldmund's artistic ability, as Goldmund admires Narcissus's intellect
and dedication to
cloister life. They both understand the
lifestyle that the other has
chosen, and feel
completely equal. All these points
become completely clear as
Narcissus
reflects upon their relationship.
"Just as [Narcissus] had once, many years
ago, intervened roughly, almost
brutally, in
Goldmund's youth and placed his life in a new sphere, so his friend had
preoccupied him
since his return, had shaken him, had forced him to doubt his self-
examination. He was his equal; Narcissus had given back to him nothing that
had not
been given back
to him many times over."
These are the
thoughts of someone deeply in love.
Finally, all the points in my definition
of love had been
covered, and as Goldmund passes on, he does so beside the one person
in his life that
truly loves him.
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