Written by:
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Copyright:
1980
Published by:
Rawson, Wade Publishers Inc.
This book is targeted at adults specifically
with younger children, but from my view these methods can be used in the job
place or when talking to someone else.
The book talks a lot about control. People control the conversation too
much. We do this without knowing
it. Sometimes people control the
conversation by talking Sarcastically:
'is that what you're wearing -- polka dots and plaid? Ooh, you ought to get a lot of compliments
today.' Blaming or Accusing: 'Your finger prints are on the door again, -
why do you do that?" Name
Calling: "How dumb can you
be?" Threats: "Touch it again and you'll get
it!" Commands: "Pick it up, now!" Lecturing, Warnings: "watch it you'll burn yourself."
and Comparisons: "Why can't you be
more like Billy?" These all can
have negative effects of a child. The
book helps you find ways around the negative outcomes.
Parents and others also respond in harsh ways
to peoples stress. People use the Denial
of Feelings: "There's no reason to
be upset," to the person there is, you might see things differently so it
doesn't affect you as it does that person.
Another favorite response people use is The Philosophical Response: "Look, life is like that." This just makes most people mad. Pity is heard by a lot by people and it makes
the listener feel more pitiful. In the
book it tells the reader that you, the listener, do not always need to respond and it can be
helpful if you do not always respond to the person verbally.
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