"Teens are
viloent, cold and unremorseful because their families neiborhoods and society
are violent. Teens care so little about others because so
little care has been shown them
(MacDonald
1A)." Many children today in
society contain hate and bitterness, and
because of this
do they become a problem. Many argue
that children become what they
become because
they make their own bed for themselves in life.
I am in total
disagreement with
this theory. I stand by the fact that
children become what they become
according to
their upbringing and the environment they were raised in. Parents
determine the
life a child will lead. Parents are the
most important factor in a child's life.
How they treat
and act to their children will determine how they become morally and
sociably to
society. Divorce, lack of love, lack of discipline, and lack of
attention are all
factors that
support that parents determine how a child becomes. Parents are role
models, and
raising their children together, with love, with discipline, and with lots of
attention is not
only their job, but their responsibility as parents. Parents determine how
their children
become.
As the years go by, we see a higher and higher
divorce rate. As this rate goes up,
so does the crime
rate. Couples today have forgotten the
word commitment. As a result
of this, the
children suffer. It is hard to grow up
with separated parents. Most children
become bitter or
angry as they grow because of their divorced parents. In some cases the
parents fight or
argue which can affect a child, and may adapt the child to be more
aggressive. Also, when raising a child in a divorced
atmosphere, what kind of lesson is
he/she
learning? They will learn that a
commitment is not a serious thing. That
can
affect them when
they go for a job, or get married. Since
parents become role models to
their children,
they must not lose sight of the fact that I do, means I do. A child needs
both parents to
always be their, show love for each other, which that love reflects upon
the child. A
child needs to around as much love as possible, but when he/she is raised in
a divorced
atmosphere, they lose that love that only two parents together can give them.
"Love, the
idea goes, is nature's way of getting sexual partners to stay together long
enough to produce
and care for a child (Flanigan H05)."
You can't properly raise a child
separated. When couples make the commitment and have
children, divorce is immoral
and unjustifiably
wrong. "I do" is a really
strong phrase, life changing. Couples
have
take time and
realize how much of a commitment that is.
Even though people say
divorce is
inevitable in some relationships, those are the couples who need to realize not
to bring a child
into this world. Some say, "It was
an accident", BS. There are no
accidents when it
comes to the subject of a child's life.
And causing pregnancy is a
reason to get
married, but the risk of divorce for couples who marry for this reason is at
this time, is
well over eighty percent. Divorce is
wrong and cause a child to become
depressed. And a depressed child is not a functioning
child, psychologically. And an
unfunctioning
child is at risk of becoming psychologically unbalanced. This all can lead
to drugs, alcoholism,
or even abuse to themselves or to others.
Then they have become a
child that is
immoral and a problem to society. All
this from divorce, all this because of
parents, and an
outcome of a problem child.
"Children need both their parents
(Raspberry
A04)."
"Love, we've heard is the wisdom of the
fool and the folly of the wise. It's a
disease which
fills you with a desire to be desired (Flanigan H05)." Love must the basis
when bringing up
children. Love must be fulfilled by both
parents and the child must
feel loved. Only love can bring a child up to be moral
and a great person in society. A
child without
love will not grow up right. Love is an
emotion, but also an important
value in a
child's life. Sue MacDonald of the
Cincinnati Enquirer writes, "Unattached
children will
likely become loners or seek the nurturing aspects and values of another
group, such as
gangs (MacDonald 1A)." She goes on
to quote that the capacity to care
for is really
tied into how you were cared for. That
falls back on the fact that children
need to be raised
with lots of love in order to become a stable and moral person in the
future to
society. "Love is the basis of
one's conscience (me)." Without a
conscience, a
child can not
learn right from wrong and learn from his/her mistakes. The amount of
love shown to a
child by their parents, will determine the outcome of that child's life.
Discipline is a major factor in raising
children. Discipline must be enough, but
not too
drastic. That is something parents must
determine and is one of the hardest
determinations in
parenting. Too much discipline can lead
to the subject of child abuse,
which that turns
a child into a psychological wreck, but not enough will lead into a child
that will be irresponsible. Reason why the right enough discipline needs
to be present is
to teach a child
values and responsibilities. Enough
discipline must be present also to
show the child
that no means no and that things in life don't always go perfect.
Discipline
teaches a child a very important lesson, the lesson of life. But then some
parents use modes
of discipline that can lead to a very important issue, child abuse.
Nothing a child
has done should lead to the striking of the child. Though discipline is
important, it
must be controlled. There are many other
forms of discipline ranging from
grounding, to
taking away luxuries. But when parents
start taking away necessities or
physically strike
a child, then it is considered a form of child abuse. An abused child will
not grow right
emotionally or psychologically. They
become adaptive to an abusing
environment and
think that that is how life is. They
then will start abusing themselves,
others, or even
their own children. Then for many
generations will this abuse go on in
that family. Parents and discipline will control the
turnout of a child's life. It will also
determine that
child's child's life, and so on.
"If children bond to a dysfunctional parents,
the children
usually repeat the mistakes or adopt the emotional pitfalls of their parents.
(MacDonald
1A)." It is so important to have a
strong disciplinary format when raising a
child, but that
format must stray away from physical punishment, or abuse. It is much
responsibility in
finding the proper format of discipline when bringing up a child, and
also imperative
to the child's future.
Neglectence plays a big part in the reason why
a child may grow to be
psychologically
unbalanced, or become a "bad seed".
Divorce, lack of love, and lack of
discipline all
define a neglected child. Neglectence is
also considered to be a branch of
child abuse. An abused child can not grow up right, no
matter how much counseling or
help, the abuse
is always in their head and makes them naturally bitter. It is the
responsibility of
two parents, to show the love and attention a child needs to function and
grow right. A child needs his/her "role models"
to be there when they are needed to be
there and to give
the love to a child, that that child needs.
"Parent-child "bonding" is the
first stage of
caring . . . bonding is well established by age three (MacDonald A1)."
When a child is
neglected or bonding does not occur, children can suffer lifelong
consequences. In many cases, they may be unable to trust
adults feelings - including
empathy and
sympathy for others. They become a
closed and bitter person. They know
not of the
warmness of love, but of the coldness of neglectence. Parents need to be there
when their kids
get awards in school or have a game. The
child needs to feel support
from both
his/her's parents. To be there for your
kids is a responsibility in parenting. A
child must be
happy and content, and most important, loved.
If a child is neglected,
he/she will not
know how to love or why to love.
Attention from both parents is most
important when
brining up a child. If the parents are
divorced, abusive, non discilpliary,
or do not show
love, then they have a neglected child.
And a neglected child is bitter,
dysfunctioal, and
may become psychologically unbalanced.
Parents must show children
the love and
attention, because if they don't, then they become responsible for the
outcome of the
child. It is not the child's fault, it
is the parents.
When all these issues are brought up, it can
only be seen how influential parents
are in a child's
life. Children are adaptive to
parents. They look at the parents and
see
what is right and
what is wrong and what is acceptable. It
is so true that if parents
smoke, then that
child will smoke. Maybe not in all
cases, but in a dominet percentile.
Any child that is
improperly raised is going to become inproper.
Parents must wake up
and realize that
the child's problem is within his\her's upbringing. Parents do determine
the outcome of a
child whether it being of good or of bad.
When a couple decides to
have a child or
childeren, they must realize the responsibilities that go along with it.
They must realize
that when they have child, they become role models. How they act and
raise their child
will determine the child's life. How
that child turns out is totally the
responsibilty of
that childs parents. Parents determine
the life a child will lead.
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