THE ADVANTAGES OF STUPIDITY

     Most people say being stupid will lead no where.  They claim

that it is the worst possible condition in which to spend one's

life, and if possible, it should be completely avoided.  They would

even suggest if the symptoms of stupidity are caught in the early

stages, it could easily be treated by a surgeon. The most effective

method used to do this is the chainsaw technique, later described

in volume two.  Yet, perhaps if people took a closer look at some

of the advantages stupidity had to offer, they wouldn't have such

a negative attitude toward it.  After reading this paper, one will

understand the advantages of stupidity.

Admittedly, stupidity has certain disadvantages.  Life isn't a bowl

of cherries.  And being stupid doesn't make it any fruitier.  Being

stupid can annoy even the most sensitive people.  If one acts

stupid, and does it in the wrong crowd, like a group of adults, it

will seem more immature than funny.  If one is forced to act stupid

while dealing with lower life forms, for example, high school

teachers, one may encounter barriers such as cruelty and

insensitivity, with the utterance of statements like, "Think with

your head straight!" or, "You have a brain, use it."  Yet these are

all true, there are still many advantages to stupidity.     

The first advantage is very easy to understand.  Stupid people are

never asked to do a lot.  Many have noticed that people tend to

steer away from someone they feel may be stupid.  This is for a

very good reason.  The stupidity which they posses makes a name for

themselves, a name which can be very difficult to shake.  Possibly,

it is a word which describes the working habits of the person, such

as  "crappy".  Yet, this creates a positive situation for the

stupid person.   They will have a lot of free time on their hands

for more of lifes truly meaningful pleasures.  Some of these

activities are combing facial hair, and counting the pixels on a

Sony TV. 

Now, there has been a rumour going around that suggests that stupid

people have low expectations.  This is true.  They are so stupid

that they don't realize great from O.K.  They could have a Sanyo

cordless phone, but would probably choose instead a Pierre Cardin

alarm clock telephone, because it comes free with their sensamatic

folding bed. 

And someone with the "advantage" of stupidity might have a hard

time doing certain tasks, or setting things up.  Yet this isn't all

bad.  For example, if a stupid person leaves the chore, and comes

back to it later, no one will be able to understand it.  Would they

get fired from their job?  No.  For the very simple reason that no

one would understand their work except for them.  The job would

have to be given back to the stupid person, perhaps with a higher

salary, or someone would do it for them, leaving them with even

more free time!

Free time is great for brainstorming (Admittedly this seems to be

a bad choice of words!).  Yet the ideas stupid people create tend

to be original.  For example, when was the last time someone stupid

said something, and made one think about it?  It seems that people

are always talking about someone elses dumb idea.  An example of

such an idea would be, "How many stories will that english teacher

drop before having a stroke?" 

This would suggest that stupid people may have the upper hand when

it comes to thinking up original ideas.  In fact, the next time

someone wants an original idea for something, they should try

talking to their local, community stupid person.  The reason for

this is that while a stupid person thinks with his head, he does

not do so an organized manner.  This is why they have so much

creativity.  By thinking in this fashion, their ideas have a

natural tendency to flow more easily, without the interruptions

which occur from the editing of thoughts that logical people would

have normally.  Thus if someone else should say to one, "That was

a stupid idea!" one should merely look that person straight in the

eye, and say, "Thank-you!"  This also means that the claim, "Stupid

minds think alike." is not true.  All stupid minds have different

ideas, each idea being original. 

One of the final advantages of stupidity is that stupid people are

always remembered, even after graduation day.  It has been noticed

how a quiet person is always hard to detect, and often remains

anonymous.  There is a very good reason for this.  The mind has a

hard time keeping quiet people in its memory track.  But it is much

easier and pleasing for the mind to remember someone really stupid.

Anyways, when was the last time one laughed at an idiot in ones

grade 12 class?  When was the last time one laughed at the little

kid at the back of the room?  The evidence here proves how stupid

people last longer in someones thoughts.  The largest advantage

which arises from stupidity is that it takes up 2/3 of DNA storage

space, which is excellent for keeping stupidity in the family.   

Thus, stupidity clearly has many advantages, as long as someone is

smart enough to use them!  It is important to understand that

stupid people are like all other humans physically.  Yet, because

of the difference between smart and stupid people, smart human

beings should give them some breathing space.  Teachers can learn

that someone graced with stupidity, deserves more respect.  After

all, they are special.