I wouldn't know how to describe a painting or a
sonata, but I can tell
someone how I
feel, though they rarely know what I mean.
Words fail me often,
but nobody
notices. They aren't listening
anyway. One person knows me.
When I talk to
him I feel like a knife in a drawer, because my words have power.
The possible
damage would be irreparable.
He and I are like a house falling apart. Our sidewalk is askew and our
mailbox is
missing. It is painted pink and
yellow. We love it, it's unique. Last
night I stomped
my feet through the floorboards because I wanted to feel my toes
in the
earth. I pushed my hands through the
ceiling and kicked down the walls. I
know he wonders
why I do things like that. I just wanted
to let some air in. I
said, "Look
hon, now we can see the stars." He
brushed off the debris and put
me to bed. He won't sleep tonight.
His thoughts stay up with the moon trying to
exercise the demons in his
mind. Too intelligent, too spiritual for his own
peace. A shaman, unstuck in
time. A stroke of genius and a slap in the face of
this world. Always restless,
searching for
answers. Impulsive and inspired, writing
down his thoughts.
Funny stories
about Elvis and his followers, the Elvi, or dirty poetry. Painting
his visions on
sheets that hang from the eaves or painting me with psychedelic
designs. It doesn't matter which. All of it makes me want him more.
Some things I say to him are like sour notes
played too often. I'm out of
tune. He always sings along. Our waltz is better than most, I
suppose. We
know the steps by
heart. The world moves quickly around us
and our quiet
drunken pace, but
we don't care. Our minds move quickly
despite this world's
petty distractions. It's us and them, and we're the only two sane
people left.
He makes me nervous, still. His dreams are bigger than both of us. When
we speak the
words fall from my lips. They aren't
enough to explain who I want
to be. I am so flawed. He says, "Sometimes people have
imperfections that are
worth living
with. You're a little eccentric. It's part of your charm." This man
knows me, and
loves me anyway. He is crazier than I
am.
Eight years might as well be a thousand where
we're concerned. History
has roots that go
deep. They go to the center of the earth
and back and wrap
around memories
that will never languish. Images of him
burn into my mind.
Visions of him
carefully try to balance me on the tip of his finger, but it's too
precarious and I
always fall. I laugh when I look up at
him, grateful to be sitting
on the floor.
I write terrible poetry all the time for
him. I'm stronger with a pen in my
hand. My mind spins with thoughts that are like
rain, I can't catch them all. I
wish I could, I
feel a drought coming. I'll weed through
the mess later. Right
now I have
buckets to fill. Our roof is leaking,
it's so refreshing.
You
I dream a dream
of better things
and moments yet to be.
In my mind you
linger.
Hold my hand,
move with me in
the flowers,
they grow, so
beautiful,
like us, so
fragile.
They bend in the
breeze, I arch my back.
Can you feel me?
We connect in
freedom,
surrender in
love.
Come with me,
in this life, in
this dream.
Whisper in the
moonlight.
Scream in the
dark.
Move in my
rhythm.
Let me feel your
music.
No comments:
Post a Comment