In The Crucible, John Proctor initially
portrayed a sinful man whom had an affair, struggling to
prove to his wife
that he should be trusted again. The
dishonesty of the betrayal of Elizabeth
and his
marriage to her
changed, though, by the end of the play.
This transition in Proctor's character
showed he
transformed from a deceitful man and husband, to one whom was true to himself
as well
as his
beliefs.
This paper will discuss
Proctor's change in character and his struggle with getting to
the point in his
life where he was finally at peace with himself.
In Act I, John Proctor displayed his guilt
about having an affair with Abigail Williams, a young girl
of seventeen
"with an endless capacity for dissembling." Proctor convinced himself he was a sinful
man that had done
wrong, and to have respect for himself once again, he must break off all ties
with
Abigail. When Abigail mentioned to Proctor the
relationship she and he once had, he said to her,
"No, no,
Abby. That's done with," and,
"Abby, you'll put it out of mind.
I'll not be comin' for you
more." Even when Abigail tried to persuade Proctor
to admit his love for her, he still denied it and
claimed he had no
love for her any longer. She said to
him, "I know how you clutched my back
behind your house
and sweated like a stallion whenever I came near! Or did I dream that? It's she
put me out, you
cannot pretend it were you. I saw your
face when she put me out, and you loved
me then, and you
do now." In all of Abigail's
persuasion to try to get him to admit his love for her,
Proctor replied,
"Abby, I may think of you softly from time to time. But I will cut off my hand before
I'll ever reach
for you again. Wipe it out of mind. We never touched, Abby." Proctor saying to
Abigail that they
never touched was his way of trying to get through to her that the relationship
between the both
of them had to end here. In Proctor's
mind, saying that to Abigail was a
finalization of
their affair and gave him the closure that he needed to truly forget what he
and Abigail
had.
The affair between Proctor and Abigail
also had made his love for Elizabeth grow stronger. The
guilt of the
affair made him realize how Elizabeth was a good woman and deserved more than a
cheating husband,
and he refused to allow Abigail to speak maliciously about her. Abigail said
bitterly to
Proctor, "Oh, I marvel how such a strong man may let such a sickly wife be
-," in which he
interrupted
angrily with, "You'll speak nothin' of Elizabeth!" Abigail, realizing the respect he now had
for Elizabeth as
to not let her speak of Elizabeth in such a manner, then tried to convince
Proctor
otherwise,
saying, "She is blackening my name in the village! She is telling lies about me! She is a
cold, sniveling
woman..." The anger he felt at this
time was not only toward Abigail, but also toward
himself. He felt he had sinned greatly and did not
provide Elizabeth, a good wife and mother of their
three children,
with the respect and loyalty that one would expect out of a husband.
Act II brought across Proctor's need for
true forgiveness from Elizabeth to officially put Abigail
out of mind. He at first tried to assure Elizabeth of his
love for her, despite the affair and their
"separation". Trying to assure Elizabeth of his love for
her was also a way for him to assure himself
of his love for
her. He said to her, "I mean to
please you, Elizabeth," in which she replied with
hesitation,
"I know it, John." Proctor
noticed this hesitation, and later came to realize that something
was bothering
her. He also sensed their separation
when he said with a good feeling, "...On Sunday
let you come with
me, and we'll walk the farm together; I never see such a load of flowers on the
earth Lilacs have a purple smell. Lilac is the smell of nightfall, I
think. Massachusetts is a beauty in
the spring!"
and she merely replied with, "Aye, it is."
It is her suspicion of Proctor and Abigail
that had Elizabeth troubled. When
Proctor mentioned
speaking to
Abigail alone, Elizabeth questioned him about it, and in reply to his excuse
for being
alone with her,
she said, "Do as you wish, then," losing all faith in him. He felt hurt by Elizabeth's
suspicion and
felt she judges him and that he does not have her forgiveness. Getting angry with her,
he said, "No
more! I should have roared you down when
first you told me your suspicion. But I
witted, and like
a Christian, I confessed.
Confessed! Some dream I must have
mistaken you for
God that
day. But you're not, and let you
remember it! Let you look sometimes for
the goodness in
me and judge me
not!" Proctor felt that since he
chose to confess to her rather than lie and deny her
accusations, she
should give him more credit than she had been giving him. He thought that she
should think him
a good man because he was only obligated to confess his sin to God, but he
confessed it to
her. Elizabeth than tried to support her
suspicion and said, "John, have you ever
showed her
somewhat of contempt? She cannot pass
you in the church but you will blush," and than
said, "...go
and tell her she's a whore. Whatever
promise she may sense - break it, John, break it."
Proctor refuses
to "break it" and said, "...it speaks deceit, and I am
honest! But I'll plead no more!
I see now your
spirit twist around the single error of my life and I will never tear it
free." This quote
fully explains
why Proctor was angry. He was an honest
man until his affair with Abigail, and even
though he
admitted it were a mistake, Elizabeth still can not forgive him for what he had
done.
Elizabeth, also
very angry, expressed her feelings clearly when she said, "You'll tear it
free - when
you come to know
that I will be your only wife, or no wife at all. She has an arrow in you, John
Proctor, and you
know it well!" Elizabeth was angry
at the fact that Proctor was not understanding
why she was upset
with him and how the affair had extremely affected her. He only thought of
himself and how
he needed her forgiveness, not thinking about Elizabeth's needs in this time of
turmoil.
In Act III, Proctor shows a change in
character that was unexpected. He lost
all faith in the
outcome of the
trial and he was at his breaking point.
Proctor saw the trial to seek the truth in all
that had
happened, but at the end of it realized that there was no hope anymore. Proctor wildly
bursted out,
"I say - I say - God is dead!"
He then said laughing insanely, "A fire, a fire is burning! I
hear the boot of
Lucifer! I see his filthy face! And it is my face, and yours, Danforth! For them that
quail to bring
men out of ignorance, as I have quailed, and as you quail now when you know in
all
your black hearts
that this be fraud - God damns out kind especially, and we will burn
together!"
Finishing it off,
he proclaimed, "You are pulling Heaven down and raising up a
whore!" This
outburst showed
that Proctor felt that there was no longer hope for the truth, and the court
was not
believing the
reputable women, but rather the one that was known to have "an endless
capacity for
dissembling." He felt that the honest women of Salem were
being persecuted for the lies of Abigail,
the whore.
Act IV is when Proctor showed his change
in character as he made his final decision of whether
to confess to
witchcraft or stay true to his belief.
By his final choice of getting hung, Proctor showed
that he had
reached the title of an "honest man" and was also honest to God. In this act, Hale
returns to
convince Elizabeth to plead with Proctor to sign a confession, even though it
was a lie.
Proctor had
already considered the idea, but was unsure, and said to Elizabeth, "I
have been
thinking I would
confess to them, Elizabeth. What say
you? I give then that?" He then said, "I
cannot mount the
gibbet like a saint. It is a fraud. I am not that man. My honesty is broke,
Elizabeth; I am
no good man. Nothing's spoiled by giving
them this lie that were not rotten long
before." Proctor felt that it would not be much of a
sin to save his life by confessing a lie.
He felt
that he was not
an honest man to begin with, so giving in to a lie would not change him from
good to
bad. Elizabeth said to Proctor, "Do what you
will. But let none be your judge. There be no higher
judge under
Heaven that Proctor is! Forgive me,
forgive me, John - I never knew such goodness in
the
world!" Elizabeth showed that she
cared about Proctor greatly but wanted him to realize that it
was his own
decision to make whether to stay true to himself or not. She told him that he was the
only one who
could judge himself and decide whether he could live with himself after this
lie.
Proctor
proclaimed, "I want my life... I
will have my life." Proctor then
admitted to Parris and
Danforth that he
had seen the Devil and he had bound himself to his service. Rebecca Nurse then
entered the room,
and Proctor could not face her. He was
ashamed that he could not be true to his
faith as she
was. Proctor signed the confession, but
when he heard that it was to be posted on the
church door and
he was asked why he would not allow it, Proctor cried out, "Because it is
my
name! Because I cannot have another in my
life! Because I lie and sign myself to
lies! Because I
am not worth the
dust on the feet of them that hang! How
may I live without my name? I have given
you my soul;
leave me my name!" Proctor felt
that since he had given his soul to the courts by
signing a lie, he
could not give him the name because it felt as if they had taken everything else
away
from him. By saying, "... I am not worth the dust
on the feet of them that hang!" Proctor showed that
he truly did not
believe in signing the confession, and the fact that he did made him a
deceitful person
that was not true
to oneself. He then tore up the
confession and boldly said, "I can.
And there's
your first
marvel, that I can. You have made you
magic now, for now I do think I see some shred of
goodness in John
Proctor. Not enough to wave a banner
with, but enough to keep it from such
dogs." From this statement, it is shown the Proctor
is finally at peace with himself. Though
he felt
that choosing to
get hung and be true to God and himself does not make him a saint, it is enough
to
show that the
truth and goodness lies in him. He no
longer was himself as a dishonest man that had
cheated on his
wife and had considered turning his back on himself for life, he was a good man
that
knew the truth
and was going to stand by it.
The transition in Proctor's character was
a great one, from a cheating man to a man that was true
to himself and
gained a newfound faith. At the end of
the play, John Proctor learned to have more
respect for
himself and learned the truth about himself; that he had always held the
honesty that he
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